Someone says “I’d like to be clearer when it comes to decision making”

I was coaching a graduate student who started work at a big MNC company the other day and this is what he said. This scenario could equally apply when you’re facilitating a group and someone says this. I’ve heard this as well from HR, HRD, support and even line functions when they are asked to facilitate workgroups or sometimes coach individuals and they struggle in capturing effectively what the other person says. Part or this has to do with our own anxiety in the moment because the “ball” is now on our court to respond.

Here’s how you can handle this.
First put yourself in the right mindset. What kind of mindset? Adopt a curious mindset. When you do this something extraordinary happens. You are now focused on the other person instead of yourself! Your anxiety will melt away…

Second, paraphrase or reflect what the other person says. This playback allows you (the facilitator or coach) to process what the person said and also allows the other person to process what he said. For example, you may say “You’d like to be clear headed when you need to decide?”

What you do next is critical. Remember to PAUSE, listen to the silence and see the reaction on the other person. Wait to hear what he/she has to say.

After a while, the other person may say “Hmm…i think it’s… Having clear objectives when I need to decide”
Wonderful! You have managed to clarify after you paraphrased and the output is a lot clearer and of higher quality.

Third, capture what the other person says on the flipchart/whiteboard if you are facilitating. If you’re coaching, you can also write it down if required. What’s important is you use the other person’s words as much as possible. So, you’d write down “Having clear objectives when I need to decide”

That’s it! 3 simple steps to paraphrase and clarify what someone is saying when you’re facilitating or coaching. Give it a try and let me know your experience of it!

To your success!

Feel free to contact me if you’d like to develop further or develop others in your team or organization further

Brief author profile

Chris is the founder and managing director of THINKE LLP, a company that specializes in helping individuals and organizations create transformational mindset shifts and people engagement skills.

Chris can be reached at thinke001@gmail.com or chrischew@thinke.co Alternatively, connect with him at https://www.linkedin.com/in/chrischew-thinke/